I’m 54 years old now and the critics say
My stuff is getting sicker than ever.
As I often explain to the half-starved wretch
Who does most of my writing
Do not eat the stuff, just chew it over and
And spit it out.
The irregular beatings help sometimes, but the diet of
Wild Turkey and rabid Milfs are gobbling him
Up apace. Like the critics, they swipe the chintz curtains
For their condos.
Still life in the slum is regular now I got the pacemaker
(you can pick one up pretty cheap since the Diamond
League finished).
What is better than a BLT? I hear you ask.
Two.
Raindrops keep falling on my shed
and just like the drain that is
too big for its head, epileptic fit,
though I’ll never ever stop my brain by explaining.
So, I’ll go do me some walking with a Nun;
she said that is no way to kingdom come,
acting like a bum,
then off she runs,
with my loaded gun.
There’s one thing I know the shoes
my uncle left me do not fit me.
It won’t be long till the pointy toes
will start to nick me.
And raindrops keep falling on my shed…