Grimbeau

Scroodles

Category: flash fiction

The Cocked Up Party

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Cedric found the Marquess of Coole spreadeagled on the Ottoman with the ‘Half Life
Of Snails’ in her bloodless grip & posted the footage on Snuffchat so Henry knew
Edward G was still at large capable of unspeakable atrocity. After all the drawing room
was full up with blistered aubergines, midget broccoli festooned the architraves, and
a hairless Headcase whimpered soulfully wrapped only in a samphire ballgown.
At heart Henry had twigged the man was just a pushy upstart from Central casting;
the one they always let through, the dead loss leader, the hollow idol to kill off with
strychnine on a wet afternoon but the uranium ran out at the wrong time

Think of the afterthrill of eating chocolate in the dark and feeling a little moist afterwards.
It was all pff course and a huge charade. The long positions would still hold firm on cupidity and smarm, he thought of Peregrine out at sea huntin marlin for that snitch Veronica. Nailed up and bleeding effluent from every orifice he was lost, hooked, lined and blinkered by her gums. Henry understood too well how lesser narwhals would fold under such pressure and morph into slum beauticians sweeping up in delapidated nail bars. But this was not Cedric’s script. He always sought delineation. For him things were simply matters to order and control. With that in mind Henry set off for the bakery.

Cool shrooms and anchovy bisque, homespun alphabetti spaghetti:sounds illegible; fungal magic soused in honey.Cheryl really had pushed the boat out this time. Always too keen to please. After all
she was born nutritionist: worst acne I ever saw. She wore a homespun hood with slits to breathe and see. Takes all sorts suppose. They call her Elephant Woman. But never to her face you understand.
Well I mean how can you? Inappropriate

Some farewell letter you’d agree. Henry was agog. Edward G had legged it for good. All hell breaks loose in the utility room. The kittens go bananas at the sight of giant mouse. Henry takes a powder. A smell of camphor burning. Whose stockinged feet are poking out this time? Colonel fucking Sanders?
Smell him all over.

The Milkman Cometh

GLASS CEILING

 

 

check to see what that note
is in that cyan bottle
really do I need that wash
that banking thing perplexes me
that extinction rebellion take lambeth bridge
police stage that media retreat
world in that commmotion
workers of the world that relax
the milkman that made it through

Phaeton rides out

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Forty degrees centigrade
One hundred fahrenheit
Known records under threat
Summer of nutters peaks
Sprinkle sand on your cornflakes–
telly punsters looking sweaty
for posterity

ET Sent Home

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Sunday: Wrote to H, he replied! I replied.
He replied first though–in a sense–so there.
Hausfrau sleeps fun off. Cricket and Tennis
left to keep me real for now.
Feathermouse bioupgrades to Mousefeather
Drifts away to dry on idle thermals
criss-crosses skimarked skies declare
blue snow a first in such climes…
resist the flying pig roast passing over
St Swithin cops a deaf ‘un
keeps his pigeon powder dry

Rainy Newt House

Barn

 

Alehouse crocs devour paradox wracked by lounge bar lizards with goosebump gizzards one armed bandits sneer
empty handed begging favours look for crazed saviours cops burst in quelling din quenching fires after one
fun begun when we met a saucy fish dish only found out later alligator some time later when in came pater
baked potato hot to handle looked around took a bitesize chunk settled down blowy night by fazed candle night …

Green golden sleeves droop willowy supine over sable fable plots footpads trip light
elastic flagstones
sneak thief wily gulley snipe giggles echo ghoulish splatter dash dissolve down cobbled runnels cunny
air drains for miasma and hoop lanes squat arched floribunda sprout from brick grikes and get mistook for cat burglars
posies…fistful of sixes, fistful of sevens overspruced suitors don best bib and tucker
smile coyly erect
Get besplat with coal juiced sleet dropping by to pass on a promise of nevermore sorrow eternal blisses
steal furtive kisses contacting sublime lilting learned on all things and everything you honour to neglect.

*

Meanwhile Hope downtown
springs eternal thanks to electric shock therapy…

Episode seven: The Rape of the Lick
Apeshit in Dudley Salterton (the only game in town)
Deaf Mango Party Pack plays a Humdinger de Luxe
Carpal tension quelled by stirrup pump & unction
Going going gong…Squawky Flitch prevails over a Jug
bring on the main event
During the crash of two zeros eight queueing up outside
Northern Rock in Brixton
Retrieving a lifetime’s savings.
Rodgered once more by de Cover Up
retreat into
Insecure obscurity
battening down hatches
weathering the storm
The one that never stops
Hurricane Harry hits Louisiana
Twisters blister bayou
Savage lakes of Pontchartrain
Langston takes the wavy air
One in the pot
One ready to go…

Curved Hair Do

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Watertight alibis spring no leeks sink like stones butter no parsnips
Rainy Day starts up sluggish smooth listen hard to silence golden
struggle to swallow
Penicillin before the capsule melts in bitter toxin
Go eat something quick before singe
Heavy ordnance stems the onslaught
the moon grows big over Medina

Quiet whistlers kicking sticks down windy lanes
Dawn rain sprinkles dust
Brambles break out livid hedgerow
Something small in there is
Moving roused by scented Danger
keens the hungry eye
Probably a rat according to
What The papers say.
*
Who the hell is Wallace Bronson?
His name’s all over town. I hear them big him up.
I hear them put him down.
Perhaps a craze that came and went.
Grabbed an hour dreamt of warm embraces
By the jolly neck.

An entire dramatic action
complete unto itself plays out.
Saw Wallace later utter
scutter as thickly knitted
people talk
creative ambiguities purr
Bigging up ticklish solutions
tripping on funny money
camped out on sodden cloud cuckoo land
*
Party party party time–
scuffed up leather
horsehair stuffing
bouncing up and down
Being naughty Back Seat
Sunday of a Morris Oxford
under bent blurred high hedges
low trees rain drips water splash
Watch Out for that Unicorn!
*
Blue serge suited
chubby mammy’s boy
potholed back roads boast
blackberry ramblers
In see through macks
Gulp cool smell of cowshit
honeysuckle crows claw fat green leaves
water blobs erupt
*
Polished brogues matching socks
handkerchief sporting little gent
scrams knee fetch dettol dabbing cloth
Bathe it pink stop sobbing dry pats
stingy cotton settle down
beige flesh sticky back topper
*
Finished as if applause follows
that little performance threw
a fandango cards strewn pell mell
on parquet floor rug ruined when fur flew
*
Spree of exasp…desper…constern…
Bleargh splat yucca hahahaha…wash hands
swift job done wait in purdah taube.
What awaits two guilty buddhas
Sat glum cross legged on the whipping mat?
*
Caught fighting over emberscraps.
Easy policeman ticking off
did not goog the nups.
No slipper beatings ever did so.
Petit crims entertain mad whims.
Parrot learners think on it.
*
Fastest omelette this side of the Quantocks some say .
Side show Slob warm ups for the main event
Cause a stir.
Take the floor.
Do a turn. Make a memory.
Eventful everlasting day. Ends in tears. Where’s he?
*
Declined the invite. To act like a goat. Not the scene.
Made excuses left by dockland crane.Let off steamer. Burn it up.
Ends in tears. Where else?
*
Down and dirty in the Dog and Duck
making quavers last all night
oak log fireglow damp socks

*
Catch an eye nod snarl
grimace smile of visog recog.
Same or similar plight. Stages of alight
Depth charge and fat warhead cure.
Brace yourself for Skegness by the Sea.
Cornish riviera dip.
Dipping crook toesies.
*
Roll ups. Just like Xenophon. Full of importance when no one is
Taking notes. Ten a penny eyebrows. Pencil in moustachio.
Pocket Dirty Postcard sly crowd
Sneaking peeps as Gertie sort her girdles.
Giant rubber diva gives out full blast.
Empurpled by whelk fever.
Getting sweet on.
Hats flew up.
*
Up comes Pavarotti. Oily smooth snake charmer.
Bedknob manner writ all over. Sleep the last thing on his.
‘Don’t the wind blow up the passage, Mrs Bulbous!’…
’Away now with yer sauce’… Fun & games. Sigh like
Clifton Webb. Fresh Fish soon goes off. Black Eye.
Cuckoo Waltz to Fin.

Fancy Perch

An Arm Chair circa 1801 by Joseph Mallord William Turner 1775-1851

 

Tunnelling down at rainbow’s end—
gawping at St Finnian’s crock —
pursuing nostalgic martyrdom gig—
repulsive depressive disorder—
put me down: never let me go —
oppress me do oppressor dear

o pressure sore god help us —
unfamiliar faces scroll back
years of wine brown noses —
grant me discouragement now
& at the hour of discourse—
Amen corner bed of stars —
commodores cry out Zoot Alors!

feel the pulse of her indoors —
fell when pulling on her drawers —
broke her head being
an eternal bore
spoonfed persistent nightmare —
swallow the yellow brick road —
wash it down with chainsaws —
something stirs down dingley dell

a sound of tyres screeching —
insecticides in paradise —
quintessential now and then —
improves the yield vindictive seed —
the limpid massive grumbleweed —
clogs up arteries
likes artificial opiums

Penicillin Road

33

 

Penicillin Road leads south cuts runs meanders passes via varicose arteries sharp chicanes echo canyons down scree slope and ragged cataract to the ulcerated sea  to still Toe Head bathed in iodine haze…

Soft Shoe sized actors bridge players winner parties snub snarl & bicker spew muckbill platitudes as gossips monger meagre wares the morning after muse over who faked the best sincere…

Light occurs the back of four when Saul found out today why the lucid coast of Do-ah Land fails muster ―
Effluenza or Afflenza leaves punters spoilt for choice

Smashed & groped about till Windows of opportunity got tallyho thumbs up should Halloween pass without unsavoury incident…(porky pies lose traction in the Showers)

Second declared surely the new first by third party arsonists and kelptomaniacs with sundry agendas set by grotesque wedge

Ethics in AI gets bunk up from fretful plutocrat with more money than sensibilia. Glass and concrete truth dome.

Peasant slaughtered by boy racer monarch in Garter Gig. Town of Richmond mourns behind closed doors

Hoardings (sunshine & showers…)

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fences lust for empty vistas
fears proliferate
only land is finite
gravity a bummer
ups and downs a premium
…halt a blissful pause

Machine Gunner raps to a halt
automatic writers run out of ammo
Lamentable delays waste time to kill
Never blame the rain again
All it makes you feel is wet
uncomfortably exposes

fences lust for empty vistas
fears disintegrate
only man is finite
runner beans love summer
climbers come and go
…halt a blissful pause

Sunstruck by Moonshine

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Pigs in clover
War is over
Cliffs of Dover
Supernova…

brevity is the soul of what
you are alluding to:

Rusted mackerel tins
erupt tea dreg magma
Something in the water
putting in a sock

Mustn’t grumble altogether
Winding up soft tea time clocks
Hot under starchy cover
Addressing pressing matters

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