Property is Deft

Why the Fiddler Fixed the Roof


The Avocado

Babs the Woodpigeon gave issue in the silver birch by the back window as we questioned solipsism over sticky buns . Les Bleu Dragoons, Pipe & Fyffe dervishers, Slasher & Tom-Tom Tittle-Tattle, entertain us as the pallid seraph of Dumfries drops in  and from time to time utters out of the blue– but it is February after all, winter’s dogend spells an ill wind crisp blows in as horny handed thugs on drugs, sporting primrose neckties, shiny yellow wellies, hard-nut-to-crack walnut titfers, suspended on high rise hopes, twitching in direct sunlight through X-Ray Specs collude.

See the world through blue crystal galoshes  breaking in wind spirits to get up & gallop thru upstairs vacant chambers, confidential papers scatter, still a radio that plays non-stop, filling up swallow moods, trying to keep cool & tarry on, raving on like Long John Donne, aloof in trailblazer and spats, ready crispy salty dogman, star of screech…

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The Mystery Chef (uncensored)



Cool shrooms and anchovy bisque,
homespun alphabetti spaghetti:
Sounds illegible
Cheryl really had pushed
the boat out this time
Always too keen to impress
She was a nutritionist from birth:
worst acne I ever saw
She wore a hood with slits
To see and breathe
Takes all sorts suppose
We call her Elephant Woman
But never to her face
Well I mean how can you?

Little Old Apes

1 71 41.jpg

1 71 41.jpg



Any old iron from Madchester
presents private versus public school
a sniffy cult to keep tabs on so tell me do

Was time well spent preparing
before chapel of rest muzak
on a sunday afternoon

Stuck in a full blown fall down shack
spectating collective bouts of capricious
audacity dissolving like opioids in a deep sea squall?

That’s one hell of a question
to ask of one in the prone position…

when confronted by such a chorus of indifference

Why not just admit to it?
okay yes i got a good whack for being brash with hapless slaves when they got pollarded by lunatics who got their kicks for waving pooh sticks at with real pooh and got bashed up till the cows came home for milking and it was about then a replacement substitute was found abroad squatting on the shoulders of aphids; how seldom do us little apes
learn to carry on by candlelight at all?

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