Grimbeau

Scroodles

Category: creative non fiction

Safe Home, Erik!

Grave Achilles sat
blissfully darning bed socks for victims of his inexplicable mood swings—
a timely encounter downunder thus helped forge
the great shape of thingness
for shrewd Ulysses’ war eyes sparkled to behold·
on seeing this Achilles carped the diem & told this glum mucker that life beats death hands
down no worries mush

Tummy warming stuff
on this wet day in Maida Vale inside a humming bird’s ear
sipping whalebone bisque before an aboriginal public—
noble stuff indeedy poohs·
however mud sticks regardless take the point
on board & suck on it to extract epic sangine juices
lick lips
breathe a deep sigh without
ever knowing it

 

What came next was cruciating pain
Inexplicable as always—how many times can you leave home
without your keys till they finally write you off for dead?
Too many cheeseburgers, the certificate said
(one a day for eleven years) takes its toll
of a semi-god let alone the rest
even though they have a voice best ignore it all now
thanks for dropping by yours truly
An audible gasp echoed the Cypress
But looky there!
The creased up
scrunchings of crumpled egos orbit
the waste paper bin with my name on it
call me Mister No-One Much and you may have
a nasty shock in store, piped up Guess Who from inside an igloo
in modern Timbuktu
—By gum, some said, we thought the poor old sod was dead
—Perhaps he is, said Cheese on Toast,
leaning idly on a post

Walls & Fridges

Fourteenth century tower
Greybeards playing chess with stones
Bad losers throw stones out windows
Kings, knights, bishops, pawns, rooks and Queens
Rain down on the heretic
Foraging for clues

Cyclopticon

Forge me fresh iron gloves conceal dainty awesome hands
dwell snide outside of town & gown
& horsey country mind settees,
our ward young Toby thrived with Chinese knives instead.
Secret Agent one day; Detectorist the next—both found dead
Then came big break evil Asian confectioner caught
stark bollock naked without socks
onstage in a theatre that never shut—
St Simeon’s inrage thus inspires high hopes
in hapless giant hogweeds eaves
Sleep up high on the motley jonquil hog agenda —
lost generation chess records
put XTC to the plough & harrow—
take cream cakes & comfrey gourd
nuncle carbuncle cure all—
go to the foot of your stoney stairwells—Look up!

And see Boss Bhagwan Ayatollah Lip Gloss spreading such admirable disgust
We must see him rocking now in tiresome indifferent light—
post war on boredom trilogy
where an invisible man sees the disappeared
hobbling bent reflection in the right wing mirror of a runaway truck
and
like spotless old leopards
hid in mustard cress
fails to impress
—only yesterday’s child waved back it is said
before restive time dragged it away like a hassled mother
to the nursery aware that unanswered waves savage the tardy—
try hard to get over it with short enticing books
timer set to last one hour including adverts
or
shorter still fifty minute therapy
—books where the work happens in the outrageous transfer fee—
pre-defenistration Guy looks more beat than hippy sheik—
Cannes film festival held on ice, next time water
down the rusty Rhine if the goblin cats allow unlucky days
old shapes reform as cuticles
ascension day bereavement—myths of evening airspace—until the next time should we be spared this broken nail—stagflation or stagnation
know your limits! Six years old am I naked on a hillside cloud watching on my back a man approached with a cough I grabbed my duds and snook away sharpish

Feather of the Bride

In the year of 2008
an orangey black hearted
sunflower withdrew from this broken world
to spout twaddle while he was not entire…
Plausible, good name
for a cute kitten
smoothing an ostrich quill—
A kodak bear eating Jill
My little sister
Who nascently smells funny
Is less melting in his yinyang maul
While he nibbles her nostril
she comes over too tranquil

A certain cure for snake bites

Forge me fresh iron gloves conceal dainty awesome hands
dwell snide outside of town & gown
& horsey country mindsettees,
our young Toby thrived with chinese knives instead.
Secret Agent one day; Detectorist the next
big break evil Asian confectioner caught
stark bollock naked
onstage in a theatre that never shut—
St Simeon’s inrage inspires high hopes
in hapless giant hogweeds
Sleep up high on the motley jonquil hog agenda —
lost generation chess
put XTC to the plough—
take cream cakes & comfrey
nuncle carbuncle cure all—
go to the foot of your stoney stairwells—Look up!
Boss Ayatollah Lip Gloss spreads such admirable disgust
we see him rocking now in tiresome indifferent light—
post war on boredom now
where an invisible man sees the disappeared
hobbling bent reflection in the right wing mirror
and
like spotless old leopards
hides in mustard cress
—only yesterday’s child waved back
before time dragged it away like a late mother
to the nursery aware unanswered waves disintegrate insiders—
try hard to get over it with short enticing books
timer set to last one hour including adverts
or
shorter still fifty minute therapy
—books where the work happens in the outrageous transfer fee—
pre-defenestration Guy looks more beat than hippy sheik—
Cannes film festival held on ice, next time
down the rusty Rhine if the goblin cats allow unlucky days

 

Orange

Slice up blood orange

groovy silver drainer top

provides an awkward abattoir

sacrificial altar piece

makeshift place to

 

unwield rustic

ludic rusty knife

to serrate

to appease desire

jag mutilate Seville

in garish tattered gumshield

quartered segments

skin & pith intact

 

snaffled up cutish juice flesh

tense borne by bent paw

over chasmic chasm sinkwell

 

The surefoot chariot passes over

Imperious, regal, sublime

galumphing Phoebe sated

licks syrupy lips, sighs & leaves

 

above vile understuffs

Government Grantchester

low hanging myrtle truths once banished by white decree come home to roost — is there still honey for tea, Rupert? Ask bumblebees of floating greybore voters.

‘We’d hoped they’d all perished in the recent cold snap. old chap.’

Still a few stiffs left out in busted shelters, wheelie bins or found sat bolt upright dead on bent up knees by watching doggers

noxious nectar dribbling from well spiced cardboard coffin ship, apparently a Cambridge boffin, one of them a pal of Stephen Hawking but the wrong denomination for the Queen of the Bees Knees

nothing personal

O'Morse where art thou

 

friends and family (that’s those of you who remember who you are) understand reasons prevent one from saying that much just in case word gets used for evil instead of good out

act your shoe size not your age in post imperialist measures playing sundials in the garden with your appendages made erect by shuttlecock & battledore found in last year’s box

Ambridge anal Ithaka ate my hamster, hiccuped, endured a bilious attack and became an ecstasy of mumbles, drifting like the finest snow on the frozen inland seas, stargazy mackerel make the best of it

we dreamt of pasties with a light brown crust running through the meadow pursued by litigants with fine mesh nets & insurmountable debts and nothing much to brandish to Scythia

 

 

Daffy Down Dillies

hyper-realistic-paintings-by-emanuele-dascanio009

 

Churchill’s bitter fly returns
toxic legwarmers it was
the ruskies what did it
—how did it happen here?
Hesta gives out big time—
one too many mourning
in the hearth of hearths
Called up chaos for clarity’s sake—
somewhat the weirder when told
not much will come of it
So let bygones hug gravestones & move on to
plough up holy cuckoo land discretely
Blunder thusly into war
enshroud bon motes in cordite veils
shooing gadflies lies inert your frail old bones
Til happenstance unchained delights
in sweet spring waft— off molten espadrilles…
Cynical salads disgraced dank scornful yawn:
Cleo departs come break of dawn
Books burn forever truly
Yours,
Sincerely Santa Ranter Claus

 

 

Ploughed Cuckoo Land

every morning while I’m
jumping up and down
I scream out names of
those I wish good luck to.
do any of them happen to live with me,
in the same flat, house, bijou hovel
the same shanty town,
sewer, shop doorway, aqueduct,
inflammable dirigible, barbed wire mosspot,
slice they cucumber, lick they icicles…?
Or is it someone who aint got up,
left their shit bang smack in your way,
left the bog seat up, snores like a drain in the gutter,
had their cake & ate it intravenously,
talks endless pompous psychobabble…
No?
How very surprising.

time for press-Ups & A
Jog to old Sarky-Poohs for pot noodle, aphrodisiac,
and jellied eels on blancmange before a
long day at the orifice counting ducks…